Denial and Anger

5-0.

TO THE OILERS.

A few people have asked me why I haven't posted lately. I've tried. I have started so many drafts, but they all end in capslocked rants.* I'm at a point where I wish I had never forsaken Catholicism, as it has now become clear to me that God hates me. I have bonded with people in bars over our mutual depression. My lovely roommate can do a frighteningly accurate impression of me post-game, and I get the distinct feeling that she's scared of me.

Bill Simmons tells me, in his amazing article outling the 20 steps to being a good fan, that I shouldn't ride the highs and lows so precipitously. When I ask fellow Leafs fan why they too aren't sobbing in the shower hugging their knees to their chest, they tell me that I just need to accept that they are bad and lower my expectations so that I won't be so brutally disappointed.

Apparently, acceptance is the fifth and final stage of grief. I am going to try to work my way through the five stages, so that I can eventually be at a place where, at the very least, people aren't scared to bring up the topic with me.

As pretty much everyone who has ever known me can attest, I have been in a state of Denial for the last 26 years of my life. I think I've got that stage covered.

Which brings me to Anger, aka, the "why me?" stage. And seriously, WHY ME?! I've been a good fan! I stuck by them through my 3 years of living in British Columbia, and more importantly, their DECADES of sucking. Every single family holiday, I fight with one of my family members (you know who you are ... and you better believe I've got ALL my Bruins jokes in my back pocket for December 24th) over them. I endure countless reiterations of the same jokes (sorry, how long has it been since we've won a Cup? And yah, maybe I WILL plan the Parade after we win two games in row. And wow, thank you for reminding me that we have no draft picks this year - I totally don't spend every day hating Brian Burke over that, and your original material is super inspiring). I understand the need to rebuild, and I know that draft picks aren't the only way to do so, and I am willing to be patient, and and and - I just don't see any progress. AND I'M ANGRY ABOUT IT. Stop cracking your sticks in frustration over the crossbar, and score some effing goals. Stop shit-talking your teammates during post-game interviews, and STOP with the ridiculous cross-ice passes TO NO ONE. Battle in the corners, get in front of the net, cover your man, PLAY BETTER HOCKEY. I hate you.

Next up: Bargaining.



*as this one now has - My apologies.