Tis the Season (Part II)

I meant to get this post out last week before exhibition games began. I truly did. But I don't really care for despair - And much like a looming spiral of depression threatens to engulf me every time I attempt to draft a budget, writing about the Leafs' prospects for the 2010-2011 season turns me into a sad sack of misery and self-loathing. So, grab your favourite Dashboard Confessional album and a pint of chocolate Haagen Dazs .... This is going to be ugly.

Prologue: Hi. My name is Lia, and I'm a Leafs fan. ("Hiiiiii Lia."). Don't let my sudden onset of turrets syndrome during Leafs' games fool you - I am a hopeless die hard, optimistic to a fault, and unquestionably committed to supporting them through thin, and thinner. I couldn't breathe when I met Wendel Clark, I am the loudest person in the standing section, and if I were to ever find out that a guy I was dating wasn't a Leafs fan, it would be a deal breaker. It's my own personal tragedy.

General Overview: The Leafs are in a dark place. Since the lockout in 2004-2005, the Leafs have endured three general managers, zero playoff berths, and an embarrassing amount of poor, short-sighted trades. However, Brian Burke is now at the helm, and although many think that the Kessel trade was a John Ferguson Jr.-esque gaffe, the team is faster, stronger and younger since Burke took the Leafs to the editing room.

The Way They Were: At times, the Leafs were painfully bad to watch this past season (beside the glorious debut of JS Giguere, who stopped all 30 shots to shut out the Devils, and then went on to blank the Dreaded X, putting an end to their ridiculous, undeserved 11 game winning streak, and winning me a fantastic bet wherein a friend had to hand-feed me for the entirety of the Super Bowl game). The morale was so low this past season that even Burke admitted that the boys were immovable - In a recent interview, he described how he yelled at, pleaded with, and shamed the boys in the locker room, but to no avail. As a result, Burke blew up the team, sending Matt Stajan, Ian White, Niklas Hagman and Jamal Mayers to Calgary, and shipping Jason Blake and Vesa Toskala to the Ducks. Although the new and ostensibly improved team picked up the slack towards the end of the season, the Leafs still finished second last in the league, and ranked dead last in categories such as power play effectiveness and penalty kill. Good times.

What's Different in 2010-2011: There's actually not a whole lot that's NOT different. Only 13 players who started off the 2009-2010 season are still in the Leafs lineup today (and that's generously assuming that Jeff Finger will be making the cut this year). The biggest acquisitions during the 2009-2010 season were J.S. Giguere from the Ducks, and Dion Phaneuf from the Flames (who is the first person to don the "C" since Mats Sundin left us for Vancouver in 2008). In the off-season, Burkie picked up D-man Brett Lebda, and forwards Colby Armstrong and Kris Versteeg. There also seems to be big expectations for Marcel Mueller (German-born player who once was on the German Olympic team) and Matt Lashoff, but there really aren't any statistics or reasons to legitimize having these hopes, and I think is more symptomatic of city-wide depression.

Offense: [note: at this point in my blog, I actually just said out loud, "Why am I doing this to myself?" - This should give you an indication of what's to come]. Well, Tyler Bozak is the Leafs number one centre (Who's Tyler Bozak, you ask? Exactly.) In the interests of being optimistic though, I should note that last night's pre-season game against the Flyers showcased a lot of promise for the top line of Versteeg, Bozak and Kessel (a combination I prefer to the original trifecta of Kulemin, Bozak and Kessel, as Kulemin and Grabovski have always seemed to mesh well together). The main problem is depth, particularly at the centre position. We have NO ONE. The young'uns (i.e. Kulemin, Grabovski, Kadri, Caputi and Mitchell) are going to have to step it up if the Leafs plan on ever seeing the back of the net. [And at this point, I would just like to go down as saying: it was a mistake to get rid of Viktor Stalberg. Not just because the man is gorgeous, but because he is going to be really really good.]

Defense: The Leafs have thrown a tonne of money (a whopping $27.7 million to be agonizingly precise) behind their blue line, and have eight NHL-ready D-men in Kaberle, Phaneuf, Beauchemin, Komisarek, Schenn, Gunnarsson, Lebda, and Finger. IF Komiserak can stay healthy, and IF Phaneuf can withstand the pressure of the "C", and IF all the trade talk surrounding Kaberle can provide him with the impetus to restore his play to pre-lockout  form, then all of that money MAY not be completely misplaced, and we MIGHT even make the playoffs. However, those are all very big "IF"s, an even bigger "MAY", and one enormous "MIGHT".  

Goal: I recognize that this is not the popular view, but I think that by mid-season at the latest, Jonas Gustavsson will be our starting goalie. Giguere is not the goaltender that he used to be, and while he will undoubtedly provide invaluable mentorship to the Monster (particularly in conjunction with goaltending coach Francois Allaire), I'm not convinced that he's going to be our guy going forward (assuming, of course, that that IS our direction). As always, a close goaltending tandem will provide for some healthy competition between the two men, and as a result, we should see an improvement in the Leafs' dismal Goals Against stat from last season (an abysmal 263, putting the Leafs in ..... wait for it ... second last!).

Eye-Candy: In a phenomenon that distressingly resembles Stockholm Syndrome, I find a lot of Leafs players really attractive. I think Tyler Bozak is super adorable, Mike Brown is the hottest unknown, Luca Caputi is the best looking guy with the greatest name, Carl Gunnarson looks most like my model-friend Kyle Misewich, Mike Komisarek is hot for a blonde guy, and Colby Armstrong is attractive when you can only see his profile and he's kissing his baby.

Prediction: I'll be honest - I don't think that they'll make the playoffs this year. I think they'll finish 10th in the East, which will be enough to deprive the Bruins of a second heart-breaking draft pick, and set the ground work for an even better season in 2011-2012. I think Kaberle won't see the end of a season in a Leafs uniform, and Burke will pull off some ridiculous trade for a power forward midway through the season. As for me, I predict yet another season of torment, ridicule, and hate shakes.