get 'er done

I love hockey.

Unfortunately, I have never played a minute of the game in my life. I haven't even tried. I once had the grave misfortune of smelling a boyfriend's post-season hockey bag, and after expelling an entire bottle of "Vanilla Cupcake" body spray in a futile attempt to make my olfactory glands forget what had just happened, I never really had the desire to either. Sadly, what most people immediately assume when they hear that I love hockey but have never played the game is that I am a rabid puck-bunny, sitting around in a pink jersey, drinking a Barcadi Breezer, asking inane questions such as "who's playing the halftime show?".

Incorrect sir.

Although I fully support Breast Cancer research, pink jerseys regularly give me rage blackouts. And while I certainly appreciate the fine male forms that play my national game, I see them as merely sexy icing on an already delectable cake.

Gary Bettman, through all of his painful attempts to rebrand and popularize the NHL in the United States, has never made a concentrated effort to make the sport more appealing to female viewers. Maybe he thinks gratuitous locker room shots of Andrew Ference are enough, and that he's amassed all of the lady viewership that he's going to get. I think he's wrong. I think women see two kinds of female hockey fans: endlessly ridiculed puck-bunnies, and boyfriendless he-shes. Neither is a particularly appealing label, and I am writing this blog in order to create a new one.

I'm writing this blog in order to be proof positive that women can simultaneously picture their wedding day with Taylor Pyatt AND bang out some cogent, informed and relevant analysis.

I want to write about hockey in an accessible, jargon-less way, so that other women join me.

I want a forum where I can cry about my lifelong bout of masochism as a Toronto Maple Leafs fan, but then turn around and pathetically cling to any last shred of hope I can find while I wait to see how painfully they shatter my will to live this season.

I want to post half-naked pictures of Kris Letang.


I hope you will read.